First things first, I’m not here to tell you what squirting is. A few minutes on Google will bring up so many websites that will tell you, in way more detail, what squirting is and different ways to do it. I am simply going to tell you about my life as a squirter and what that means, for me.
I’ve always been able to squirt and, to me, being a squirter means making a huge mess. I’ve gone back and forth on whether or not it’s actually pee (which it totally isn’t…I think), I’ve been worshiped for it, and mocked for it. Needless to say, I have a mixed history with with squirting. I also feel like I squirt…weird. Almost every single website about ‘how to squirt’ makes it seem like it’s only a g-spot thing. That isn’t the case with me. I ONLY squirt from clitoral orgasms.
I recently posted a blog about my lack of orgasm. I am still (sort of) unsure about why I have such a hard time. I deduced that mental illness and medications may be mostly to blame, but I didn’t want that to just be the end of it. I kept experimenting and really trying to understand my body more. After a few weeks of that, I had the realization that sometimes I lose my orgasm because am a squirter. Not in the ‘I’ve squirted a little a few times’ kind of way, but in the way that, for me, is actually sort of embarrassing. I make a huge mess and knowing that prevents me from fully letting go.
I’ve only squirted with a couple of my partners (mostly because I was faking almost all my orgasms from go to 20, but that’s a story for another time). The first time I squirted in front of someone and not just by myself, the look on their face was pure joy. I still don’t understand why since it’s so normal for me and I had seen it so many times in porn. I thought ‘isn’t this what everyone does?’. Oh boy was I wrong. I got an ear full after that.
Unfortunately, I learned that being a squirter isn’t always such a magical thing. At one point I squirted so hard there was HUGE spot of the bed covered in it. I was so surprised at the amount that I texted my boyfriend at the time with a photo. His response was “I hope you’re cleaning that up…”, which he meant as a joke, but I did not take it that way. I was so insecure about the fact that it happens that I didn’t do it again for months. I felt disgusting.
While that definitely left me with some scarring, I bounced back fairly quickly on the orgasm front. I learned new ways to have orgasms that didn’t involve squirting and, even though it was definitely difficult to control something that comes naturally to me, I managed, until recently.
Ever since I figured that out, and become ok with it, I’ve been able to have way more orgasms. Yes, I mess up the sheets almost every time I come, but I don’t always have that mental wall blocking me. If you need to squirt, fucking squirt. While some people may not like it (I suggest mentioning it before you get freaky with someone), anyone who makes you feel like shit about it doesn’t deserve your come all over them.
My advice to anyone who wants to squirt is experiment with yourself, let yourself go, and invest in some amazing clean up towels, which I will be doing a review for later on. There is more than one way to squirt and you need to find your way, and if you can’t, don’t worry, not everyone can. The hardest part about accepting this about myself is that it needs to happen. If I don’t squirt once in a while, my body literally starts rejecting my orgasms. It’s great…